6/2/25

Happy Pride Month. We’re quickly moving into summer now. I’ve been spending my days sulking, wandering, and working. Life isn’t so bad really, it’s just familiar. But if I can outrun my anxieties I’ll be fine. That is part of the problem too, the need to run, but I would hate to live a life in the middle. It either needs to be fast or slow.

I asked people if I should read Babel by R.F. Kuang or Jazz by Toni Morrison next after Neuromancer. The majority of people said Babel, so I was prepared to restart it, and especially excited since I found out her next book, Katabasis, is coming out in the fall. Though between research, work, and writing, I wasn’t ready to commit yet. So, I started Jazz this morning, my first time properly reading a book by Toni Morrison, and I am very excited to see where it takes me.

Birthday’s always feel a bit performative. I feel like everyone always expects me to be happy and to desire something extravagant, and then they’re upset when I just want to go see a movie and then sit around. I’m not one of those pessimist that thinks it’s just another day, or that it’s not an occasion, I just don’t want much. Not in the way of a celebration anyways. I think a lot of people get so tired of having their day orchestrated for them that they just opt to do nothing. I can’t say the thought never crossed my mind. I just hope tomorrow is a good day at the theater, and the bookstore if I’m lucky.

I’ve been submitting to literary journals recently, in an effort to start taking my career somewhere.  There are so many publications out there, so many people trying to many things at any given time, and in my search for a place among them all, I feel a lot less alone than I did before. Even in the dead of night, the sun still shines through the moon. Literature is alive, creativity still thrives. All it needs is care, attention, and participation. Being in a transitional phase sucks, but I’m gonna find my way home soon. Somehow.

I’ve been trying my hardest to keep up with the editing I’ve promised to do, but my attention is always split between things that I want to accomplish. I do plan on posting something. Soon! What or when I don’t know yet. We’ll see what happens.

I’ve been listening mostly to Deltron 3030 as of late. It’s a very grand hip-hop album from 2000 that imagines an intergalactic future ensnared by the malevolent forces of capitalism, where two rogue characters, Deltron Zero and The Automator, work to preserve intellectualism and free the masses from political and societal corruption. I had heard of the record before, but  projects with so much mystique and acclaim are daunting to me. In my head, I have to be in the right frame of mind before I approach them. I’m this way with all kinds of media really, but Deltron 3030 is a casual listen in truth. The rhymes are dense and the production is very cinematic with a digital texture. I think it’s one of the most imaginative albums I’ve ever listened to. Similar to The Incredible True Story by Logic, but this record actually follows through with the sci-fi/space concept in the subject matter of the lyrics. The only record that I think could meet Deltron 3030 on its level is Vaudeville Villain by Viktor Vaughn, another album with extensive world building, dense rhymes, a unique sonic texture, and an eccentric main character.

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